Get A Good Screw Here Without Going There

Sometimes you see a place with Chicago Pizza in its name, but you are far away from Chicago. Or Texas BBQ, or Philadelphia Cheesesteak but you are not in TX or Philly.

Yet still you are comforted by the idea that you don't have to go all the way there to get a taste of the good stuff for which that place is well known.

Yet another place of business from which I was forcibly ejected by security.

Being not too near Tacoma but intrigued with the prospect of getting a good taste of the best Tacoma has to offer, I had to pull off the freeway.

I was very disappointed after my Everett fiasco but thought this was going to be different.

As I was being escorted off the property by security, I was in disbelief when management made the claim that never had anyone exited the highway and entered their premises in search of whores.

January Mubarak

But it's only June.

January Mubarak is:

a) Sister of Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak.

b) Syrian stunt double of Mad Men actress January Jones.

c) A subtle hint to replace the lunar month of Ramadan with the solar month of January in which fasting from dawn to sunset is a small ordeal considering the short days and cool weather. Nice try, CAPTCHA, but not even my favorite Saudi cleric would support this kind of reform.

Milk Solves Problems You Didn't Even Consider

My favorite Saudi cleric Sheikh Al-Obaikan is in the news again. He presents a milky solution to deal with the problem of unrleated men and women socializing freely.

"The man should take the milk, but not directly from the breast of the woman," Al Obeikan said, according to Gulf News. "He should drink it and then becomes a relative of the family, a fact that allows him to come in contact with the women without breaking Islam's rules about mixing."

Girls Can Not Have This Chocolate Either

Following (or leading) the trend of sexist chocolate, this one is also not recommended for girls.

I'm waiting to see the candy that women will not allow men to have.