All Kind Jaggery on Aisle 6

As I am a fan of ball-shaped sweet foods, I had come to buy some chum-chum, rasgulla, and gulabjamun balls, but I could not resist what Aisle 6 had to offer. I put down my grocery basket, and began to flail my arms about and strutting around like an injured rooster, puckering my lips like I had just eaten all the sour achaar pickles on aisle 7. As I was quite forcibly escorted out by security, I loudly continued my assertion that I've got moo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ooves like Jagger.

Swedish Coffee Gives Many Erections

The list of Swedish accomplishments are many and have been listed here. Now they have solved the problem of erectile dysfunction with a type of coffee which promises to induce a high number of erections ("Hella Boner" in American Slang).

Forks And Other Things In The Road

On the highway of life, you will be presented with many decisions. Do you take this one, or the next one?

January Mubarak

But it's only June.

January Mubarak is:

a) Sister of Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak.

b) Syrian stunt double of Mad Men actress January Jones.

c) A subtle hint to replace the lunar month of Ramadan with the solar month of January in which fasting from dawn to sunset is a small ordeal considering the short days and cool weather. Nice try, CAPTCHA, but not even my favorite Saudi cleric would support this kind of reform.

Dish Network Thinks I Can Read Chinese

I can't read it. But from how happy that guy looks, this must be a good deal.