All Kind Jaggery on Aisle 6

As I am a fan of ball-shaped sweet foods, I had come to buy some chum-chum, rasgulla, and gulabjamun balls, but I could not resist what Aisle 6 had to offer. I put down my grocery basket, and began to flail my arms about and strutting around like an injured rooster, puckering my lips like I had just eaten all the sour achaar pickles on aisle 7. As I was quite forcibly escorted out by security, I loudly continued my assertion that I've got moo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ooves like Jagger.

Your Mental Wellbeing

On a scale of 10 to 10, how angry are you?

Swedish Coffee Gives Many Erections

The list of Swedish accomplishments are many and have been listed here. Now they have solved the problem of erectile dysfunction with a type of coffee which promises to induce a high number of erections ("Hella Boner" in American Slang).

Funky Groovy Disco Eid

The prayers of the faithful at this observance of Eid al-Adha were reflected in the shiny disco ball hanging above. No word on whether my favorite Saudi cleric has voiced his approval of this possibly idolatrous object hovering above the supplicants bowed in prayer.

See also: temptress invalidates your prayers

I Love The Children I Have But...

While in the waiting room at a medical office, I noticed this ad in a parenting magazine about children.

You read this magazine because you care about your kids

It has articles about the best playgrounds in the city to take your children. On the opposite page is an advertisement for people who are sick of taking children to parks.

But just in case you don't want to care about any more

Or perhaps it is to scare people who picked up the magazine from boredom, suggesting to them they should never want to have a reason to pick up such a magazine.

Maybe you want to take your kid to a salon, or find a nanny.
Or maybe you want none of those things, ever.

Cups For Nuts

The bottom shelf of the cabinet on the left in the kitchen at my office. I don't think it was necessary to label the specific purpose of these cups. Furthermore, I don't think it was necessary to call security.

Ball Cake!

I've already covered my hypothesis that the whole world loves ball-shaped foods. Proof of the theorem to follow, and I won't go into more detail here. But...

Always on the lookout for arrangements of words I can use as expressions of delight or anguish originally unintended as such, like "Sweet Supari!", I am pleased to announce my latest discovery:

Ball Cake!

e.g.:

Negative usage:
"Hey man, I heard there are going to be layoffs."
"Ball Cake!"

Positive usage:
"You are being promoted to director."
"Ball Cake!"

Hot Kid Honey Ball Cookies

There are many differences across cultures of the world. We speak different languages, we wear different pants. But we are united in the love of honey-flavored and ball-shaped snacks. There is still hope.

Automatic Ball Washer Systems

A few minutes before I was escorted out by security, this is what I saw at the kids' fun park. Well then why do you put it there in the first place?!

Smokin' Poles At The Airport

Put It In The Cold Sack

If you want to keep your stuff firm and fresh.

Be Careful Not To Choke On These Balls

Pipis and Popos in Puerto Vallarta

These two places are just down the street from each other in downtown Puerto Vallarta.

Ballcock Coupling Nut Washer

I didn't know you had to wash your nuts after ball/cock coupling. This was at the hardware store, in the plumbing aisle. The Hardware Store and The Plumbing Aisle are not gay bars.

Utah has BALLS!

According to name statistics on WhitePages.com, Utah is the top-ranked state for listings of people with the last name Balls (map).

In addition to this, the Leet translation of the word "balls" is 84115 - a zip code in Salt Lake City, UT.