Caution: Man Jumping On Stack Of Mattresses

Watch where you're going, you could get jumped.

Swedish Coffee Gives Many Erections

The list of Swedish accomplishments are many and have been listed here. Now they have solved the problem of erectile dysfunction with a type of coffee which promises to induce a high number of erections ("Hella Boner" in American Slang).

Pakistani Cigarettes Warn Against Health Risks

My Urdu is not perfect, but the warning roughly translates to: "Cigarettes are harmful to your health, and they will totally fuck up your mustache."

Forgive Me For I Thought I Could Sin Here

I decided to visit a church in the area after seeing a notice about their Sunday offerings.

The most recent house of worship from which I was forcibly ejected by security.

Not having been raised in the tradition of Christendom, I was unfamiliar with the true function of the array of private booths that lined the wall. My complaints about the entertainment on the other side of the divider caused most unfortunate confusion.

While being escorted out of the service by church security guards who became physically forceful, I turned the other cheek.

The Facebooks Know What You Might Like

Technology is frightening, your phone knows what you wanted. And the interwebs understand you more than you know. But sometimes robots do not have the human touch and make their suggestions in inappropriate groupings.

I love Pixar movies, that is true. Toy Story 3 made me cry. So obviously I would like nekkid pr()Nz.

Funky Groovy Disco Eid

The prayers of the faithful at this observance of Eid al-Adha were reflected in the shiny disco ball hanging above. No word on whether my favorite Saudi cleric has voiced his approval of this possibly idolatrous object hovering above the supplicants bowed in prayer.

See also: temptress invalidates your prayers

Evil Russian Squirrel Wants You To Eat His Nuts